Younger men are wonderfully idealistic. They are always fun to date for a very short while. They are excruciatingly honest and have a puppy dog quality that is cute until they piddle on the floor.
What I don’t understand is the younger man’s fascination for older women. We have television shows dedicated to “cougars”—attractive older women who like to teach younger men the ropes. It seems our society can’t make up its mind. American society worships youth, with girls barely 18 years old being held up as the model of all things beautiful. Plastic surgery has never been more popular, and wrinkle creams fill the shelves in grocery stores and pharmacies. It goes without saying that all of these are marketed toward women.
At the same time, we are obsessed with erotic older women, whether real housewives or cougars, who “pluck” innocent young men, sometimes young enough to be a felony. Of course, many of these same women have had work done and certainly dress like they're still in their 20s, but there’s no mistaking them for a 20-something, and society says both their appearance and behavior are OK. In fact, if a 20-something acted and dressed that way, she would be labeled a slut and looked down on by the same society that lauds the cougar.
With me, this younger man fascination with older women has come out not so much in the sense of a cougar, as I’m not really old enough to be one. It’s more the perception of an age difference. Sometimes the gap is only a year or two. I classify these men as “younger” because they do more than because of any real age difference.
Certain things characterize men who perceive themselves to be younger. The first is that they love the idea of being “cougared.” It doesn’t matter that I’m not much older or that I’m not sexually more experienced than they—and I’m not. I’m not really one for casual sex, and I have some very specific reasons for this. This means that not only am I not more experienced than the young “innocent” pursuing me, but also that the likelihood of my sleeping with him is slim to none. That doesn’t matter, though. All that matters is the idea of it. Younger men place themselves delightfully outside of reality.
Take, for example, the case of one young man in particular. He was about 3 years younger, and we met at a party. He was cute, although lacking a bit intellectually. I told him up front that I was not interested in having sex with him and why. In response, he told me the timeline of our dating future, down to the length of time he figured it would take for me to sleep with him, which was about 4 dates hence. Interesting reply. It turns out he was wrong, but that didn’t bother him.
Sex is a common theme with younger men. I find this interesting, because they know I won't sleep with them, but they keep right on trying. They could simply find another woman who would sleep with them more readily, but they seem to feel that persistence is the best mode of action. I once had a cat that ran headlong into closed doors to try to get out of a room. He did this repeatedly. It's kind of like that. I know one who asked for it every time he saw me, multiple times. It didn't matter where we were. It also didn’t matter that we weren’t actually dating, that he had a girlfriend or that I had a boyfriend. He’s been at it for over 2 years. The door's still closed, kiddo.
As I said, though, they’re honest. They don’t pretend anything; there’s no trickery. They state their intentions and are not fazed by the word “no.” In addition, I’ve never had a younger man try to force me to do anything. They understand “no,” but like a puppy, they simply try a different way to get what they want without getting in trouble[1].
I find their directness refreshing, and they can be endearingly sweet. In all, as long as they’re taken on their terms—temporary ones—they are worthwhile.
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[1] I once had a younger man suggest that I ought to sleep with him because I should be flattered that someone younger than I was interested in me. He was 22 to my 26 at the time. Needless to say, I was not particularly flattered, but I did feel it my duty as the older and wiser party to point out that perhaps that wasn’t the best way for him to make his case.
