This sounds harsh, so I’ll start out by saying that men who have nothing to offer know they have nothing to offer. It’s not so much that they don’t have any good qualities—they might—it’s that they either under-value those qualities or are not prepared to let them show. These guys are looking to score.
Ostensibly, there’s nothing wrong with looking to score, but men with nothing to offer pretend that they want something more, or rather, that they are willing to give something more. They have several MOs to convey this idea.
1. Obsequiousness. They act like they have little or nothing to offer, as though their intended mark is out of their league. And she probably is. But they don’t really believe that. Instead, they attempt flattery. They point out all the good qualities of a woman—well, the ones that they care to notice, including, and limited to, physical beauty. They start with “safe” things like eyes.
“Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes?” Yes, of course they have.
If they meet with success there, they move to more risky things: lips, hips, anything somewhat sexual without having to be direct. They couple this with self-abasement—again, limited to the physical—in the hope that they will be complimented in their turn.
2. Bravado. Just as men who flatter don’t really think little of themselves, those who use bravado don’t necessarily think well of themselves, sometimes with good reason. Where this gets confusing is when it’s the obsequious guy who now displays bravado.[1]
Bravado involves bragging about previous conquests, either in numbers or, unfortunately, in detail. They will even compare numbers with their intended mark, as though a woman will somehow find a man attractive because he’s slept with more women than she has men.
Another take on the bravado is to talk about the many women who have pursued them, all of whom, of course, they turned down, because they only have eyes for you.
3. Pretending to be the pursued one. This variation on bravado consists of a man acting like the woman is coming onto him. If she says “hello” she’s hitting on him, and if she asks for assistance with something, she’s making excuses to have him around. He acts as though she’s coming onto him at any time they meet, and she is therefore fortunate that he has finally decided to grant her favor.
4. Coyness. A man who is coy acts like women make him nervous, again, because she is probably out of his league. (And again, she probably is.) He “thinks” that a woman like that would never be interested in a man like him, that she would never see anything in him. However, his constant speech, his repeated seeking out of his intended mark, and his apparent unawareness of his actual deficiencies belies his coyness.
All of this is smoke and mirrors, however. Of course, men with nothing to offer are not offering anything, although they say they are. And what they are pretending to offer is inadequate at best. The thing is, if the women they offer nothing to really are out of their league, they see through the tricks and reject the Trojan horse.
And these guys don’t bother with women they actually have a chance of landing. It’s all about the sport, even if his team always loses.
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[1] One of the qualities men who have nothing to offer underestimate in themselves is their own survival instinct. They are able to assess a situation rapidly, try one method of attack, and when that doesn’t work, immediately switch to another.
